The best questions are small and concrete. “Tell me about your childhood” is hard to answer. “What did your street smell like in the morning?” is easy, and the bigger story usually follows. Pick two or three, not twenty, and let the answers lead.
Growing up
- What did your home look like? Who slept where?
- What did you eat on an ordinary day, and on a special one?
- Who was the person you were closest to as a child?
- What games did you play, and where?
- What did your parents worry about?
School and work
- What was your first job? How much were you paid, and what did you spend it on?
- Was there a teacher you still remember? Why?
- What did you want to be when you were young?
Leaving and arriving
- When did you first think about leaving? Who did you talk to about it?
- What did you pack? What do you wish you had brought?
- What was the first week like? Where did you sleep?
- What surprised you most about the new place?
- Who helped you, and how did you meet them?
Family
- How did you meet your partner? What was the wedding like?
- What do you remember about the day your first child was born?
- Which family traditions did you keep, and which did you let go?
- Is there a saying your parents used that you still hear in your head?
Looking back
- What are you proudest of?
- What was the hardest year, and how did you get through it?
- What do you want your grandchildren to know about where they come from?
Listening well
Let silences sit; the second answer is often better than the first. Ask “and then what happened?” more than anything else. If a topic is painful, it’s fine to move on and come back another day, or never.
Lana, Heardloom’s interviewer, works the same way: she asks one question at a time, follows up on the good parts, and weaves in the questions your family adds.